Narative writing

 Monday 27 September 2021

Title:The worst hide ‘n’ seekers

WALT: Add descriptive features to my Narrative

Once upon a time on a tropical island filled with native plants in the middle of the south sea there lived: Galena, a time traveller that would refuse to wear normal clothes and her blonde hair reached her belly button and whose personality was very explosive.  Flashter is a cheetah who’s golden colored fur is speckled with black dots as well as a few white ones and a very sensitive personality.  The last inhabitant was a kitten named Charlie. He was a tabby whose pattern looked like a tigers and had the cheekiest personality out of all of them.  That day they decided to play hide ‘n’ seek.  Unfortunately the hide ‘n’ seek game was about to go downhill and not in a good way…

Problem: Charlie's lost!!!

As Charlie was thought of as the worst hider but the best seeker, all three of them decided that Charlie should hide first.  Galena was going to help Charlie hide and then stay in one spot.  So Flashter went off and started counting he had no idea that Charlie would get the better of him this time.  As soon as Flashter had gone, Charlie asked “Can I please hide in your pocket?”  Galena who had been wondering which stupid place Charlie was going to hide in was cuaght by surprise and answered  “Sure but don’t you think it’s cheating a little?  But if you really want to though, I guess you can.”  So when the Flashter finished counting he couldn’t figure out where Charlie was hiding. He checked in the bushes on top of the roof of their house and every other place he could think of.  So of course when Flashter couldn’t find Charlie anywhere, he thought that Charlie had run away! 

Solution: I’m over here! 

Soon Charlie asked How Flashter hadn’t found him yet and Galena explained that his hiding place was so good Flashter couldn’t find him she also suggested that he yelled out I’m over here.  Charlie thought that this was a great idea and immediately yelled out that he was hiding somewhere on or near Galena.  Flashter came over and found Charlie in Galenas pocket and he bursted out laughing.  He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought of that.  Galena was also laughing because Flashters laughing sounded like an elephant laughing.  Charlie had fallen out of Galena’s pocket, he was laughing so much! 

Five days later they were still laughing and all of them were rolling around on the ground.  Overall I reckon that they had a wonderful hide ‘n’ seek game.  I do hope that they stop laughing soon though don’t you? 😆😅

Self Assessment

Today I improved my writing by:

• Using persuasive language

• Described my characters in better language 

• Spelled all of my words correctly

To improve my writing I must:

• Write within the time limit

• Not get so distracted 

• Not go over the limit for speech conversations