Narative writing

 Monday 27 September 2021

Title:The worst hide ‘n’ seekers

WALT: Add descriptive features to my Narrative

Once upon a time on a tropical island filled with native plants in the middle of the south sea there lived: Galena, a time traveller that would refuse to wear normal clothes and her blonde hair reached her belly button and whose personality was very explosive.  Flashter is a cheetah who’s golden colored fur is speckled with black dots as well as a few white ones and a very sensitive personality.  The last inhabitant was a kitten named Charlie. He was a tabby whose pattern looked like a tigers and had the cheekiest personality out of all of them.  That day they decided to play hide ‘n’ seek.  Unfortunately the hide ‘n’ seek game was about to go downhill and not in a good way…

Problem: Charlie's lost!!!

As Charlie was thought of as the worst hider but the best seeker, all three of them decided that Charlie should hide first.  Galena was going to help Charlie hide and then stay in one spot.  So Flashter went off and started counting he had no idea that Charlie would get the better of him this time.  As soon as Flashter had gone, Charlie asked “Can I please hide in your pocket?”  Galena who had been wondering which stupid place Charlie was going to hide in was cuaght by surprise and answered  “Sure but don’t you think it’s cheating a little?  But if you really want to though, I guess you can.”  So when the Flashter finished counting he couldn’t figure out where Charlie was hiding. He checked in the bushes on top of the roof of their house and every other place he could think of.  So of course when Flashter couldn’t find Charlie anywhere, he thought that Charlie had run away! 

Solution: I’m over here! 

Soon Charlie asked How Flashter hadn’t found him yet and Galena explained that his hiding place was so good Flashter couldn’t find him she also suggested that he yelled out I’m over here.  Charlie thought that this was a great idea and immediately yelled out that he was hiding somewhere on or near Galena.  Flashter came over and found Charlie in Galenas pocket and he bursted out laughing.  He couldn’t believe that he hadn’t thought of that.  Galena was also laughing because Flashters laughing sounded like an elephant laughing.  Charlie had fallen out of Galena’s pocket, he was laughing so much! 

Five days later they were still laughing and all of them were rolling around on the ground.  Overall I reckon that they had a wonderful hide ‘n’ seek game.  I do hope that they stop laughing soon though don’t you? 😆😅

Self Assessment

Today I improved my writing by:

• Using persuasive language

• Described my characters in better language 

• Spelled all of my words correctly

To improve my writing I must:

• Write within the time limit

• Not get so distracted 

• Not go over the limit for speech conversations

Narative writing 3

 21/9/21

WALT: write a Narrative that’s amazing 

In 1999 on beautiful kowhai beach with its soft golden colored sand, it’s shimmering turquoise water and its brightly colored beach umbrellas and tropical fish enjoying the gentle waves is where and when this story takes place.  At the moment there were three visitors whose names were: Emerald the unicorn with golden colored hooves and a silver colored coat.

Mia was a teenager in the 13th grade whose brown hair reached her hips and her suit was very attractive.  The last visitor was a dragon named Scally whose dark black scales and dark blue eyes seemed to bore right through you.  But this trip to the beach was about to get really bumpy...

Problem: The theft

Suddenly there was a shout “Hey who's stolen my antique hairbrush as well as my fire lighter?”  Emerald looked around she knew that it was Mia shouting but where on earth was Scally.  All of a sudden she had a brain wave. Scally was the thief that explained why he had such a cautious look on his snout when he arrived.  Now she knew who had stolen Mias things but she didn’t know where Scally was hiding.  All of a sudden she saw some sudden movement SCALLY!

Solution:The trap

Emerald quickly followed Scally making sure that Scally didn’t see her.

Would she be able to think of a trap quick enough or would she be too slow? She was already guessing what Scally was up to.  She was very worried by now about the trap but all of a sudden she thought of the most wonderful trap in the world.  But she would have to work super quickly!

She knew that her new powers would set the trap up in a blink but she really wanted to keep her powers “Too bad” she told herself''You are going to help Mia and that's final.”  And so in a blink of an eye she had set up the trap and Scally was trapped.   

Emerald trotted over to Mia happily she knew that Mia would be very proud of her.  She was so happy that she didn’t even notice Scally sulking (as much as a baby cries in the corner).  Mia was so happy when her treasures were returned she rewarded Emerald with her antique hairbrush.  Mia was so touched that Emerald had sacrificed her powers to save her hairbrush and fire lighter that she restored Emeralds powers.  From that day forward Mia and Emerald were the best of friends.   

Today I Improved my writing by: 

•  writing my speech conversations properly.

•  putting commas and full stops in the right places.

• Used juicier words .

  

To Improve my writing I need to:

•  Check my writing properly.

• Find interesting words.

Congratulations on a superb piece of writing Grace.  Your introduction is on point and your speech conversations are correct.  You should be very proud of your writing Grace.  You are definitely on track to succeed, keep striving for excellence Grace.  Pai to mahi, Mrs Jujnovich.

Narative writing 2

 22 September 2021

WALT:  Express myself in Narrative Writing

Once upon a time there was a dragon named scally that was completely back with white eyes. A super duper angry bus driver that had dark eyes, black hair and would stop the bus 17 times per minute.  As well as the bus driver's best friend named Grace who had ginger hair,  freckles and a kind and helpful personality.  While they lived, the first jungle was created. It was a dark, horrible place with swampy floors, swamp creatures such as snakes and crocodiles and mixed sounds of snapping crunching and the bone chilling noise of the very first dragon. 

One day the bus driver decided to visit the jungle but Grace was very reluctant she was sure they would get lost…

Lost in the jungle

Soon the driver and Grace had found the jungle and were walking through.  Grace was still reluctant about the idea but she knew it was the best thing to do.  She didn’t want to make her friend mad but she was terrified by the unfamiliar sounds around them.   11 hours later the bus driver asked Grace “Now which way home?”  Grace was surprised and didn’t know what to say but she still answered “W-w-w what do you mean you didn’t ask me to keep track of direction!”  Now Grace could see that her friend was starting to boil. She knew he knew that they were lost but didn’t want to admit it!!

What a kind Dragon!

All of a sudden the first dragon appeared and asked “What's the matter?”

Grace sensed that the dragon knew that they were lost so she didn’t answer.  The bus driver had fainted, no chance of him answering Grace also sensed that the dragon was as kind as chipmunk and she knew what the dragon was going to do.  The dragon sensed that Grace knew what she was going to do and very happily picked Grace up and they had a chat until the bus driver woke up and realised the dragon was a kind soul and wanted to help them.   So the bus driver went with the dragon and Grace, (very amazed that the dragon didn’t want to eat them!) back to the world outside as the dragon called it. 

The dragon was the happiest she had ever been and as soon as she landed she decided that life in the jungle had been way too boring and that she wanted to live with the bus driver and Grace.  They all lived happily ever after.  Do you think that they dared to go into the jungle again? 😁