Narative writing 3

 21/9/21

WALT: write a Narrative that’s amazing 

In 1999 on beautiful kowhai beach with its soft golden colored sand, it’s shimmering turquoise water and its brightly colored beach umbrellas and tropical fish enjoying the gentle waves is where and when this story takes place.  At the moment there were three visitors whose names were: Emerald the unicorn with golden colored hooves and a silver colored coat.

Mia was a teenager in the 13th grade whose brown hair reached her hips and her suit was very attractive.  The last visitor was a dragon named Scally whose dark black scales and dark blue eyes seemed to bore right through you.  But this trip to the beach was about to get really bumpy...

Problem: The theft

Suddenly there was a shout “Hey who's stolen my antique hairbrush as well as my fire lighter?”  Emerald looked around she knew that it was Mia shouting but where on earth was Scally.  All of a sudden she had a brain wave. Scally was the thief that explained why he had such a cautious look on his snout when he arrived.  Now she knew who had stolen Mias things but she didn’t know where Scally was hiding.  All of a sudden she saw some sudden movement SCALLY!

Solution:The trap

Emerald quickly followed Scally making sure that Scally didn’t see her.

Would she be able to think of a trap quick enough or would she be too slow? She was already guessing what Scally was up to.  She was very worried by now about the trap but all of a sudden she thought of the most wonderful trap in the world.  But she would have to work super quickly!

She knew that her new powers would set the trap up in a blink but she really wanted to keep her powers “Too bad” she told herself''You are going to help Mia and that's final.”  And so in a blink of an eye she had set up the trap and Scally was trapped.   

Emerald trotted over to Mia happily she knew that Mia would be very proud of her.  She was so happy that she didn’t even notice Scally sulking (as much as a baby cries in the corner).  Mia was so happy when her treasures were returned she rewarded Emerald with her antique hairbrush.  Mia was so touched that Emerald had sacrificed her powers to save her hairbrush and fire lighter that she restored Emeralds powers.  From that day forward Mia and Emerald were the best of friends.   

Today I Improved my writing by: 

•  writing my speech conversations properly.

•  putting commas and full stops in the right places.

• Used juicier words .

  

To Improve my writing I need to:

•  Check my writing properly.

• Find interesting words.

Congratulations on a superb piece of writing Grace.  Your introduction is on point and your speech conversations are correct.  You should be very proud of your writing Grace.  You are definitely on track to succeed, keep striving for excellence Grace.  Pai to mahi, Mrs Jujnovich.