Narative writing

 Success Criteria:

I have proof-read my writing to ensure I have:

Juicy sentence starters

Correct punctuation - Capital letters, full stops, commas, speech marks, exclamation and question marks.

A speech conversation in the body of my writing

A simile in the body of my writing

Read my writing to ensure it makes sense

14 September 2021

WALT:  Follow the sequence of Narrative writing

Title: Le leah

                                          Introduction 

In 1812 on a jet black and stormy night in the deep dark wood is when this story takes place.  Three people and a cat from outer space shall appear and their names are:  Le-Leah who has star white hair and the most detailed costume with     eyes of emerald green. Luke who has completely black hair and the most piercing eyes with the most striking suit. Grace with golden colored hair, the most beautiful hazel eyes as well as a hand made suit that sparkled endlessly.  Sila the cat who has striking black and green eyes with black and white speckled fur.  They are here to stop a very serious matter. The flowers are withering away like they are pieces of lollies being chewed.

Problem

Five hours later it was still as starless as a jet black horse and as stormy as the wildest storm on jupiter.  Le-leah has now warmed up her power which is nature and is starting to heal the flowers but after one flower is healed a GIGANTIC flower breaks out of the earth and starts to suck up all the flowers.  Le-Leah starts to panic.  All of a sudden she's screaming “Ahhhhhhhhhhh”. She knows she shouldn’t but she can’t help it she’s never seen a flower this big before.

Solution

All of a sudden there is an enormous flash and her family and her friend appear.  They have sensed that she needs them and have come to help.  But they know that their powers will take two hours at the quickest to warm up on earth. They know the only way to quicken warming up their powers is to combine and that means giving up a 50th of their powers oh oh!

Problem

No one wants to give up a 50th of their power, especially Sila the cat but they know it is the only way to save Earth.  Unfortunately Le-Leah's cat DOESN'T want to give up a 50 th of her power.  Le-Leah begs her but her cat just won’t give in.  Now it’s up to Le-Leah. Does she want to give up three 50ths of her power? So she will be much weaker.  As weak as an antelope (antelopes are only 70 percent strong enough on Mars).  Or does she want to keep her power?  Hold your breath and wait for the answer!!

Solution

Okay let out your breath she said yes.  As soon as Le-Leah said yes they all felt like throwing a party weeeeeeeelll most of them Sila the cat wasn’t very happy in fact she was the grumpiest she had ever been SHE tried to persuade Le-Leah with words like: “Hey you don't realise exactly how annoying and ugly earth is” to make Le leah regret her answer but Le-Leah knew that she had to say yes, otherwise the flowers of the earth would be all gone and it would be a very dull planet.  So she combined her power and helped to save earth.  Luckily it was still jet black as the blackest horse and as starless as the clouds.  After they had saved earth they returned to Mars for the biggest party the universe has ever seen.      

🎉🎊🎆

Self Assessment

What I like about my writing:

• I liked finding juicier words.

• I enjoyed correcting my sentences

• I really liked going over my story to make sure that it made sense.

What I need to improve on:

• I need to work on writing my speech conversations properly.

• I also need to work on putting commas and full stops in the right places.